We recently moved and I thought I’d jot down some thoughts about our new place.*
From the bars across the windows
To the bee infested vines,
From our alcoholic neighbors
To the trash can filled with wine,
You are an interesting place to live,
Small living room excepted,
And we’re grateful for the soundproof walls,
And that you’re not infested.
But there are a few things that annoy,
Although you cannot help them.
So please allow me to expand,
To tell you from where my ire stems.
Your laundry room is always full
And your tile’s cracked.
Your water runs from hot to cold
While I attempt to wash my back.
The total lack of counter space
Leaves much to be desired.
But the ample cabinet space, I must admit,
Is something oft admired.
Your bedrooms are so tiny,
Which makes furniture a joke.
Your blinds are always breaking
And your oven often smokes.
You are continually stuffy
With no cross breeze to be found.
And the placement of the air conditioner
Continues to astound.
The sink is always backing up
And your disposal spews out crap.
Getting stuck in the hall by the pantry doors
Has started to feel like a trap.
All these things and many more
I could continue telling,
But to be fair, you’re not that bad,
And your location’s quite a blessing.
In the end, after a few months,
You’ve started to feel like home.
And despite your faults, and my bitching too,
I have no desire to roam.
*I am not now, nor have I ever been, a poet. So actual poets, please forgive the horrible rhyming!